Why Parents should beat their kids

Mouthy kids turn into mouthy adults:
Kid; I'll tell children's aid
Adult; I'll sue you
nobody likes this person.

This argument only works when the assailant is known, as soon as this is tried on an unknown person this kid is gonna get his a$ kicked or worse get killed. You're not doing your child any favors setting him up for this.

Not the first time:
You had an older brother; until he talked to me like that.

Self fulfilling Prophesy:
telling children's aid is not only going to get the Parent in some trouble but will also get the child sent to a foster home. Then the same attitude that got him there is gonna get his a$ kicked by someone who has no concern over his wellbeing.

Survival of the fittest:
If this kid goes to highschool with this attitude, since all kids are protected equally, he's gonna get his a$ kicked.

3rd party:
Son, you were really mouthy to me yesterday so I hired Billy here to take a round out of you. You won't be able to sue him because he's a minor, and our deal is all cash so there's no paper trail.

Lesser of 2 evils:
Son, you have expressed your displeasure with your mother and I so I have taken the liberty of finding you a new place to live. This is Drill Sargent Hardnose, he'll be looking after you for a while.

The source of this rant is of course the Russel Peters standup comedy